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Imperfection Perfect
The 18th letter to you. Dear, can you feel any change within you that reflects outward while the clock is ticking? With this year almost over, I feel empowered to be motivated and inspired by contemplating death that I become the ‘imperfection perfect’ human being after my stay at the buddhist monastery for 3 days. It was like finding scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle in my meditation and contemplation of death. The anxiety of swallowing solid food was my fear of death, and it was also because I was ignorant of how to express myself in my daily life that I become numb, paralyzed and tired. My anxiety to…
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Halfway Through
The 11th love letter to my Twin Ray. Beloved, Twin RayThe minute you said you choose him over me, my heart shattered, and I hate you for it, but at the same time my love for you won’t let me bear a grudge, it says “Oh darling, you are too good to be true, hate can eventually turn into love, too.” And the seasons passed, and year after year my heart was left vacant with the door closed, and time after time I have to pull the curtains apart to let the sun shines in where the shadows used to creep in. I feel frazzled at how you still powered…
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Rekindle hope
The 17th letter to you. Hello again, and how are you? It’s been quite a while since I last post a new update. My life is quite idle and less interesting. As you may know, I am on psychosis medication and it numbs my feelings, it’s actually nothing new. Taking medicine and going through this cycle of weaning off medication happens once or twice a year. I feel I am on a lifelong process to quit this kind of medicine, but I still hope to change and quit for good. I can’t stress enough how important feelings are to us human beings. Even though some of us are extremely sensitive…
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Your Shine
Post from the past 3. Your beauty is exquisite, like a painting which I don’t get tired of looking. With you I am never bored, there are so much in your mind I want to explore, and I marvel at how you can wake up to another morning and make the world better for your loved ones. The nearest way to touch you now is through my words, and the closest way for you to see me is through these sentences. Look closely, I have changed, and it was all because of you. You turned my world upside down, and fortunately, all these changes have made me more me, and…
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The wilted flower.
The 16th letter to you. Welcome back my friend. If you stumble on this blog, or follow this blog, I sincerely thank you for your time. I have been away since last year, and haven’t felt like blogging since my inspiration had plummeted. The reason is because I am once again on medication. I feel quite numb and aren’t that sensitive like I would be without medicine. It’s the most annoying thing in my life, but right now I just have to grit my teeth to bear with it. It’s not fun at all, but I do my best to find that spark again to live a life with medicine,…
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Freedom Awaits.
The 15th letter to you. Dear readers, if I have any or anyone has read this blog. During my seclusion from writing and updating this blog, I have lived with novels for quite some time. I was obsessed, and my interest in reading peaked during this “lifelong” medication process from last year. I lost my creativity, and all my feelings were numb to the point I couldn’t feel emotional, leading me to stop creating altogether. It also made me think I was unsatisfied with my status quo. I want to change the status quo. I want to tear apart the walls that keep me from creating and living a life…
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Make the impossible possible.
The 14th letter to you. Dear beloved reader, Have you ever longed for a place far beyond this world where unconditional love is at the center of everyone’s hearts? Have you ever felt hopeless in a world with little integrity and dishonesty? Were you wanting to be in power and control your mind, becoming a sovereign being with your own choices instead of being manipulated for being sensitive and empathic? I once had this dream. Since I started junior high school, I have been wondering about these questions, and I had this urgent need to find the answer in my heart. Deep down in my soul, I knew there was…
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Beyond the Mind.
My 13th letter to you. Beloved reader, how are you? I start my letter today by asking you this question because I care, but at the same time, I am confident that whatever you go through right now is something you can handle, and even if you can’t, there’s no shortage of help out there, whether it’s unseen or seen. The first thing you need to do is ask for help and reach out your hand to grab a hand that is outstretched towards you. Today I feel like writing about mental health because it’s an issue we all deal with at some point in life. And when we struggle…
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Time.
Post from the past 2. Time is such an illusion tricking us into rushing through life, thinking we need to reach our destination before we run out of it. It either goes too fast when we enjoy something or moves slowly away when we anticipate an event we wait so eagerly for, and it’s all because time constructs in a way that it feels rigid if we live with the norm of how society has been creating time to enforce our lives. Every moment consists of seconds and minutes, and yet we never fully remember the whole day. There’re always fragments in our memories of what people said and did…
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I have myself.
Post from the past 1. I don’t want to keep running in a circle or drowsy, waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet. Yeah, I’m tired of searching for gold at the end of the rainbow and hunting for an elusive love that always slips through the gap between my heart and mind. The abyss of my longing is now flowing like a river out to the big sea, and I’m leaving its shore under the sunset at the end of my craving for a relationship that will last forever. Because love came and you run for life, I’m left alone. I have come to learn that even…
"Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful."
