A simple letter
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The Choice I Make
The 22nd letter to you. All the hiding makes the heart anxious, all the secrets make it heavy. The world is how it is, and I need to learn it’s okay as it is, instead of looking through the filter of the mind. Sometimes I want to talk freely without concealment, but people tend to judge and criticize, it’s hard to stay open and honest without lying. This world can be hard sometimes, and I want to shut out all the darkness that tries to penetrate through the cracks of my mind. Stillness is difficult with a mind full of negativity and endless nagging. How do I live? Sometimes I…
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Enough Is Enough
The 21st letter to you. Everything feel so wrong once I feel my anxiety roars at me; my body feels wrong, my hair seems odd, my face imperfect and so on. Why is that? The only thing I could do is to sit still in silence and meditate instead of distracting myself from the anxiety. The only way out is to sit with my anxiety and feel it to release and understand why, and through letting go of the thoughts in my mind that trip me off that I could truly feel calm and peace. It’s to see the truth straight in the face instead of being afraid of meeting…
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The Eternal Flame
The 20th letter to you. Once again I stand up from the ashes after the fire burned me, the flames that tempered my soul seared and smith me like a sharp sword; the eternal flame. You see, nothing is impossible if your mind is strong enough to endure hardship and suffering, at least not when you have a burning wish or desire to fulfill. When I find myself ascending to a higher dimension, and understand what I needed, I don’t mind being put back in the “cage,” being under surveillance or forced to be medicate to eventually get my freedom, because all those are only illusions. I accept and willingly…
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The Dance of Aurora
The 19th letter to you. Good morning, darling. Whoever you are, you are welcome to this blog and it’s my honor that you take your time to read all these letters I send to you and the world with all humanity. I’m one person doing her best to make a difference in this world, although being a 5’2 petite woman, my willpower is no less than anyone else. With time I learn to appreciate my weakness and made them my strength. Going from being extreme in everything I do to balance being and doing seamlessly. Even though challenges occur, and all the small things I did or do for my…
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Imperfection Perfect
The 18th letter to you. Dear, can you feel any change within you that reflects outward while the clock is ticking? With this year almost over, I feel empowered to be motivated and inspired by contemplating death that I become the ‘imperfection perfect’ human being after my stay at the buddhist monastery for 3 days. It was like finding scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle in my meditation and contemplation of death. The anxiety of swallowing solid food was my fear of death, and it was also because I was ignorant of how to express myself in my daily life that I become numb, paralyzed and tired. My anxiety to…
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Rekindle hope
The 17th letter to you. Hello again, and how are you? It’s been quite a while since I last post a new update. My life is quite idle and less interesting. As you may know, I am on psychosis medication and it numbs my feelings, it’s actually nothing new. Taking medicine and going through this cycle of weaning off medication happens once or twice a year. I feel I am on a lifelong process to quit this kind of medicine, but I still hope to change and quit for good. I can’t stress enough how important feelings are to us human beings. Even though some of us are extremely sensitive…
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The wilted flower.
The 16th letter to you. Welcome back my friend. If you stumble on this blog, or follow this blog, I sincerely thank you for your time. I have been away since last year, and haven’t felt like blogging since my inspiration had plummeted. The reason is because I am once again on medication. I feel quite numb and aren’t that sensitive like I would be without medicine. It’s the most annoying thing in my life, but right now I just have to grit my teeth to bear with it. It’s not fun at all, but I do my best to find that spark again to live a life with medicine,…
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Freedom Awaits.
The 15th letter to you. Dear readers, if I have any or anyone has read this blog. During my seclusion from writing and updating this blog, I have lived with novels for quite some time. I was obsessed, and my interest in reading peaked during this “lifelong” medication process from last year. I lost my creativity, and all my feelings were numb to the point I couldn’t feel emotional, leading me to stop creating altogether. It also made me think I was unsatisfied with my status quo. I want to change the status quo. I want to tear apart the walls that keep me from creating and living a life…
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Make the impossible possible.
The 14th letter to you. Dear beloved reader, Have you ever longed for a place far beyond this world where unconditional love is at the center of everyone’s hearts? Have you ever felt hopeless in a world with little integrity and dishonesty? Were you wanting to be in power and control your mind, becoming a sovereign being with your own choices instead of being manipulated for being sensitive and empathic? I once had this dream. Since I started junior high school, I have been wondering about these questions, and I had this urgent need to find the answer in my heart. Deep down in my soul, I knew there was…
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Beyond the Mind.
My 13th letter to you. Beloved reader, how are you? I start my letter today by asking you this question because I care, but at the same time, I am confident that whatever you go through right now is something you can handle, and even if you can’t, there’s no shortage of help out there, whether it’s unseen or seen. The first thing you need to do is ask for help and reach out your hand to grab a hand that is outstretched towards you. Today I feel like writing about mental health because it’s an issue we all deal with at some point in life. And when we struggle…
