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Affection On My Fingertips
The 14th love letter to my, Twin Ray. To hear you say “I love you” is strangely distant to me. I have never once thought that words could be piling up and that my stomach knot itself in distress. I look past the dawn and see the sunrise on the horizon. You are gone, but I’m still here waiting for you to appear like a shooting star I can wish upon. I don’t fight in a war, but why do this feels like I am battling? Emotions disrupt my peace and exceeding numerous time from nowhere. I guess I can’t hide them under the rug and call it a day,…
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How Do I Let Go?
The 13th love letter to my, Twin Ray. Beloved, With all my frustration I don’t know what else to do but to slowly letting go and as much as I want the gap between us to shorten and with the interlude of our heartbeats I still hope it will beat in unison someday. I either sleep too much or stay up all night; there’s nothing in between. Sleep doesn’t come easy, but once I lay down on my pillow with eyes closed thoughts of you appear in a parade and demonstrate themselves like memories in mine mind. How can I let go when your fire still burns within my soul?…
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Because of You
The 12th love letter to my, Twin Ray. Hey, Are you tired of all the love letters I have written to you? I know you won’t likely respond, but still, I can’t hold myself back from writing. The sweetest note, the romantic gesture. I just want to open my chest broader so you can take a look inside my heart, and see how it beats for you. It’s pounding like crazy when you are near. And when you are absent, it just sank and sank in deep yearning. I don’t know if it is wise of me to keep harboring feelings for you, but I can’t seem to erase all…
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Halfway Through
The 11th love letter to my Twin Ray. Beloved, Twin RayThe minute you said you choose him over me, my heart shattered, and I hate you for it, but at the same time my love for you won’t let me bear a grudge, it says “Oh darling, you are too good to be true, hate can eventually turn into love, too.” And the seasons passed, and year after year my heart was left vacant with the door closed, and time after time I have to pull the curtains apart to let the sun shines in where the shadows used to creep in. I feel frazzled at how you still powered…
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You are me, and I am you.
My 10th love letter to my Twin Ray. Beloved, Twin RayThe ever-changing tide where waves crash to the shore makes me think of how time does change everything in this world. Time does not wait for anyone, like a ripple effect touching everyone’s life. We can neither go back to the past nor live in the future. Everything exists right now and here, as I have experienced life to be. Moments pass in the blink of an eye, yet I witness the changes within the seasons. Spring approaches where the bud is blooming, and the spring warmth caresses my cheeks. The budding of love is growing exceptionally. A soft and…
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The illusion of heartbreak.
My 9th love letter to my Twin Ray. Dear beloved,Sometimes words fail to describe the feelings that arise within me. The spaces between silence and us hold me so warmly that I can genuinely enjoy it even if I am grieving or having a heartbreak. Heartbreaks sure aren’t something new to me, but I am experiencing it with you beside me, and it makes it all so different. My heart has been vacant after those I care for left me, yet I am here with arms wide open. I can’t predict the future, but I know that things will never be the same as they once did; there’s no promise…
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Two hearts as one.
My 8th love letter to my Twin Ray. Dear Beloved,There were times I felt that the eternal frost was covering me, and time seemed to sneak away slowly without you. The gap between my heart and others was too broad. They didn’t understand me, yet I know them to the extent that I wished I could heal them from their wounds. The flow of life stagnated many times before; I couldn’t comprehend the complexities in others, how the human mind works, and why people seem to contradict themselves so much and fall out of grace. Although it was perplexing to see them say and do things incoherent, it’s all in…
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The echoing of your voice.
My 7th love letter to my Twin Ray. Beloved, Twin Ray,I dreamt of you telling me the three words I had never heard anyone say, the phrase so simple but yet so profound “I love you.” The echoing of your voice lingers in my thoughts for days when I am awake. The exhilarating joy of knowing that you love me; has always loved me become my favorite love story. The world becomes my paradise, heaven on earth when you are with me. People said I live in a dream world, but this reality is as much a dream as the world I live in, and it matters not if it’s…
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I love you.
My 6th love letter to my Twin Ray. Dear beloved,Reaching the realization that you are within me, looking through my eyes, was arduous. The inkling belief that there was a love beyond this realm made me long for you, and it was that which propel me to search for you. The first taste of love in this realm broke my heart, and because my soul was kept in darkness, I had to battle the demons in my mind every night. I was tossing and turning in bed for thoughts that harassed me, and as I lay there with tears streaming down my face and with my heart aching for a…
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Into one soul.
My 4th love letter to my Twin Ray. Dear Beloved,I spent a lifetime looking for you in everyone else, trying to control my destiny with sheer force to make it happen. A lifetime peeling off the layers covered my heart and tamed the mind to obey the divine within me, and yet I failed so utterly to find you. I went high, then low, above then beyond, and when my heart sang a tune so familiar, I scattered my love amongst the flowers around me with the hope that it would bloom as gracious as the love I have within me. The illusion that separates us feels so real that…
"Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful."
