The illusion of heartbreak.
My 9th love letter to my Twin Ray.
Dear beloved,
Sometimes words fail to describe the feelings that arise within me. The spaces between silence and us hold me so warmly that I can genuinely enjoy it even if I am grieving or having a heartbreak. Heartbreaks sure aren’t something new to me, but I am experiencing it with you beside me, and it makes it all so different. My heart has been vacant after those I care for left me, yet I am here with arms wide open. I can’t predict the future, but I know that things will never be the same as they once did; there’s no promise as to who would resume back to the room I assigned for them in my heart. It’s as if we never say good-bye, and yet we never said we would meet again, that departure and arrival have no precise timetable. Time stretches as it does, years and years apart, and we all continue going with life without looking back. Even if we do, it’s all memories. The person we once were doesn’t exist anymore. If life grants us a second chance to meet, we would have to introduce ourselves all over again. The fear that captured me in the illusion that I would never be able to be with you had loosened its grips. I know you are here with me, loving me unconditionally, and whether you manifest yourself before me in a physical form or not, it’s still a blessing to know that our souls are but one. We were born from the same ray, the same light. What more can I possibly ask? Sure enough, I have everything I need; you intermingled in my breath and beat the same beat within the same heart. Heartbreak and heartache, are they the same? It doesn’t hurt like it once did, and it’s such a miracle because you now fill up the void that once felt so empty. It’s alright; even if the hole may grow, I know our love will grow along with it. Because I am you, and you are me. Eternally and infinitely.
With Love,
Amara T. Lam
