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How Do I Let Go?
The 13th love letter to my, Twin Ray. Beloved, With all my frustration I don’t know what else to do but to slowly letting go and as much as I want the gap between us to shorten and with the interlude of our heartbeats I still hope it will beat in unison someday. I either sleep too much or stay up all night; there’s nothing in between. Sleep doesn’t come easy, but once I lay down on my pillow with eyes closed thoughts of you appear in a parade and demonstrate themselves like memories in mine mind. How can I let go when your fire still burns within my soul?…
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Because of You
The 12th love letter to my, Twin Ray. Hey, Are you tired of all the love letters I have written to you? I know you won’t likely respond, but still, I can’t hold myself back from writing. The sweetest note, the romantic gesture. I just want to open my chest broader so you can take a look inside my heart, and see how it beats for you. It’s pounding like crazy when you are near. And when you are absent, it just sank and sank in deep yearning. I don’t know if it is wise of me to keep harboring feelings for you, but I can’t seem to erase all…
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The Light Within Us
Post from the past 5. The collective consciousness spilled over like madness, and everyone is in intense trauma ready to release their darkness. There are chaos and such horrified unpredictable actions towards one another. People get offended quickly, and no one wants to listen to the truth. Perhaps it’s not easy to wake up to the truth, that this world has many hidden secrets which revealed to the rest of the people who are still sleeping. I have been awake for a very long time. Everything started in 2011, and I have worked with my shadows over the past few years. I have learned to balance my darkness and light.…
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The Dance of Aurora
The 19th letter to you. Good morning, darling. Whoever you are, you are welcome to this blog and it’s my honor that you take your time to read all these letters I send to you and the world with all humanity. I’m one person doing her best to make a difference in this world, although being a 5’2 petite woman, my willpower is no less than anyone else. With time I learn to appreciate my weakness and made them my strength. Going from being extreme in everything I do to balance being and doing seamlessly. Even though challenges occur, and all the small things I did or do for my…
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Heaven on Earth
Post from the past 4. Why do you believe you are living on earth? You must open your eyes to see heaven and not hide in the illusion. The day and the night are like two sides of the same coin, defined, but you must know dreams doesn’t care if your eyes are shut asleep or open in the light. The road ahead may seem long, but eventually, you will see beyond the horizon where meadow and hills are rising to touch the sky. Climb the mountain or swim in the ocean, sit still or run, you will reach your destination in no time. Time doesn’t exist so why fear?…
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Imperfection Perfect
The 18th letter to you. Dear, can you feel any change within you that reflects outward while the clock is ticking? With this year almost over, I feel empowered to be motivated and inspired by contemplating death that I become the ‘imperfection perfect’ human being after my stay at the buddhist monastery for 3 days. It was like finding scattered pieces of a jigsaw puzzle in my meditation and contemplation of death. The anxiety of swallowing solid food was my fear of death, and it was also because I was ignorant of how to express myself in my daily life that I become numb, paralyzed and tired. My anxiety to…
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Halfway Through
The 11th love letter to my Twin Ray. Beloved, Twin RayThe minute you said you choose him over me, my heart shattered, and I hate you for it, but at the same time my love for you won’t let me bear a grudge, it says “Oh darling, you are too good to be true, hate can eventually turn into love, too.” And the seasons passed, and year after year my heart was left vacant with the door closed, and time after time I have to pull the curtains apart to let the sun shines in where the shadows used to creep in. I feel frazzled at how you still powered…
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Rekindle hope
The 17th letter to you. Hello again, and how are you? It’s been quite a while since I last post a new update. My life is quite idle and less interesting. As you may know, I am on psychosis medication and it numbs my feelings, it’s actually nothing new. Taking medicine and going through this cycle of weaning off medication happens once or twice a year. I feel I am on a lifelong process to quit this kind of medicine, but I still hope to change and quit for good. I can’t stress enough how important feelings are to us human beings. Even though some of us are extremely sensitive…
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Your Shine
Post from the past 3. Your beauty is exquisite, like a painting which I don’t get tired of looking. With you I am never bored, there are so much in your mind I want to explore, and I marvel at how you can wake up to another morning and make the world better for your loved ones. The nearest way to touch you now is through my words, and the closest way for you to see me is through these sentences. Look closely, I have changed, and it was all because of you. You turned my world upside down, and fortunately, all these changes have made me more me, and…
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The wilted flower.
The 16th letter to you. Welcome back my friend. If you stumble on this blog, or follow this blog, I sincerely thank you for your time. I have been away since last year, and haven’t felt like blogging since my inspiration had plummeted. The reason is because I am once again on medication. I feel quite numb and aren’t that sensitive like I would be without medicine. It’s the most annoying thing in my life, but right now I just have to grit my teeth to bear with it. It’s not fun at all, but I do my best to find that spark again to live a life with medicine,…
"Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful."
