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Once Awake, Forever Awake.
The 23rd love letter to my, Twin Ray. Each morning when I wake up, I feel exhausted and a little bit reluctant to get out of bed, because sometimes the tide of emotions caused by the moon is welling up inside me at night make it impossible for me just to close my eyes and go to sleep. Other nights the stars will pull my hair, wooing me to go somewhere because of the restless feeling I feel inside me. They plant ideas inside my mind and talk to me about how brilliant it would be to gather more light into every cell of my body so that I can…
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Goodbye Fear! Welcome Unconditional Love.
Post from the past 19. Beloved Lucifera, I am so excited now because I want to deliver a shocking news to you so that you can tell your other self, Lucifer; I am head over heel in love with myself. I don’t have any desire to make anyone mine, or the thoughts of having a sacred intimate partner are no longer necessary for me to continue my journey here on Mother Earth. I am free as a bird, and there’s nothing to hold me back from being the love that Grandpa purposely asked me to come here to be. And the love I possess is unconditional. You think your minions…
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I Am Unburdened.
The 40th letter to you. The ending of something old is in truth just a beginning of something new. I have never experienced unconditional love. No one has ever loved me that way before, but somehow I can love unconditional without thinking of the outcome. The outcome is not necessary as I thought. I always think that once you have romance gesture towards someone, and once you declare your love, you might be approved or rejected. But I understand now that neither approval or rejection has to be the outcome. For once I have open my heart and soul, and just love for the sake of love I don’t need…
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Preparing For Departure.
The 22nd love letter to my, Twin Ray. If you want me or not, I am still the same. For how long shall I bear the tormenting of waiting? Because I am racing through time to catch up with my divine self, and I can’t shrink back and act as if nothing is wrong. But even so, I am responding lovingly. I don’t have any hope for closure, and I desire to stay in love. Love is essential for my well-being. Sometimes I yearn for an embrace that can warm my soul, but I save intimacy later for someone who is willing to open up their feelings for me genuinely.…
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Just Deeply In Love.
The 21st love letter to my, Twin Ray. I don’t know. You have chosen what you have chosen. You don’t need to explain yourself or make excuses. I don’t hope for anything and certainly not promises that you can’t keep. I have wait for your answers, but you are like a quiet mouse roaming around my mind with a voice that murmured through the night. I dance not to the rain, but to a raging storm inside my heart. I lack nothing that’s why I desire nothing to myself. At times I wish you could open yourself up for me, but you are like a bud that needs time to…
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The Magic Weaver.
Post from the past 17. I write and write the night away; while others empty the bottle of wine, I empty my sorrows. Sadness drips like rain in the autumn night. Every song sings the tale of my longing, but with each note, I dream away the frantic search for your heart. Heartbeats and long breaths keep me alive. I fondly love the night because of the mystery of the blinking stars—it’s as if they talk to me about wisdom and magic. I breathe deeply and hold my breath before releasing the emotion of envy. I envy those who can see you every day while I have to wait in…
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Because You Care.
Post from the past 16. I am awake tonight and smoke my lungs black. The distress of a chaotic world with no hope to survive the morning has made me want to kill myself slowly. Cigarettes and coffee are the remedies for my hopeless dream of fairy tale and romance. They both are the dark promises of death. I die a little tonight, and my life shortened many moments of hours. I have to laugh because the pack of cigarettes says “Smoke kills.” If smoke kills then why am I still breathing? Do I wish to die or have I abandon living? I live, and I die each moment of…
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I Live Like Art.
Post from the past 15. I am a poet, and I write life as if it was words that spilled out of my lungs, no, not the heart, because with lungs I can breathe poems and lyrics, with heart I can sing the joy of writing. I have with time an understanding for how people are unconsciously living their life. So time does speed up for some and snailing steadily forward for another. But after all, they could at least breathe, but probably it’s easier said than done because they have befriended stress like a pet and could not snail and rejuvenate in the time that pace slowly towards the…
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Be Loving.
The 39th letter to you. Laughter and love bubble inside me like a laugh of a child. I am not childish, but childlike. I mature through time, and I always look for the light. I am stargazing at night, and I stare the sun straight into the eyes. I am not fearful because life is too short to skimmed through it and shiver with fear. Why is there a need to fear unless I am afraid of death? I don’t worry about the end because life just begin and I am reborn, but I would not seek danger to feel the adrenaline. There’s the joy of life when you love,…
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The Expansion of The Heart-
The 38th letter to you. Live, so you can feel the expansion of the heart when you actually are in love. To live is not just breathing only. To live is to feel the heart expand, and it’s the expansion of your senses. That your taste food better, hear the note of each melody like windchime or bell ringing Kling-Klang in unison with your beloved within. Whatever you would call that beloved, your twin flame or your twin ray or just a romantic soul mate. But life, as I want to call it, is when you be yourself, wholly, without fear what others might think about you. There are colors…
"Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still become something beautiful."
