The Most Valuable Lesson; Unconditional Self-love.

The 46th letter to you.

Thoughts for tonight.

If Earth is a school, like most spiritual believers and spiritual coaches say, then the most valuable lesson I have learned so far in my life is to love myself unconditionally. Why is it valuable? Because through the unconditional love I have for myself, life becomes easier to live, with less unnecessary suffering.

Self-love is one thing to keep in mind and practice daily so that I can love others as I love myself, but unconditional self-love is the ultimate love I can have for myself. With unconditional love, I can forgive myself for the mistakes I make, and for who I want to be or who I will become, with all my flaws and oddities.

I was once insecure and loathed myself for who I was because of the mistakes I made—mistakes that made me feel I wasn’t perfect enough to be loved by others. I was so afraid of making mistakes and assumed the worst-case scenarios, to the point that I developed anxiety. I began overthinking and over-planning things step by step far ahead, rehearsing conversations that had yet to happen, and it eventually spiraled into a tangled mess in my head. It was extremely exhausting and tedious for my mind and spirit. The worst thing I did back then was being hard on myself, using criticism and punishment whenever I did something I thought wasn’t good enough.

I didn’t know what self-love was; nobody taught me to love myself when I was young. So, I had to learn it myself after I grew up. It was a hard way to learn to accept and love my flaws, but fortunately, I didn’t give up altogether. It wasn’t in vain, after reading so many books and experiencing the things I had read about in reality.

How did I achieve self-love? Or even unconditional self-love? To be honest, I don’t remember exactly how I did it, because self-love and unconditional self-love were learned through many episodes of psychosis. During those times, I was guided to take care of myself, and I got to know myself through deep introspection after each episode. It was both a curse and a blessing to experience things so deeply in dimensions that only I could see and hear, but it also allowed me to become more self-confident in who I am each time. Self-love can be both easy and hard to practice. If I am not aware that I judge and criticize myself, I won’t know where to begin. If I believe those judgments and criticisms, I fall victim to the ego, which creates a false identity and a negative image of myself—one that I would dislike, believing that nobody could ever like me for who I am.

I used to believe that if I got a partner who loved me, then I would be worthy of being loved and valued. But that wasn’t true. I didn’t need a partner or a romantic relationship to feel loved and cherished. I alone am the unconditional love I believed in and searched for.

When I was young, self-love was non-existent, but somehow I believed there was a love that far surpassed the love we mortals possess. The unconditional love that seems like a mystery to most people is actually within them, deep in their hearts and souls. It is hard to find elsewhere in the world, but it exists nonetheless if we start to love ourselves for who we are: our feelings, our flaws, our bodies, and our thoughts.The first step is self-care. The next step is to be mindful of our thoughts. From there, we move on to understanding what has happened to us in the past, getting to know ourselves, and forgiving ourselves for what we did and didn’t do—the choices we made that led to bad experiences or consequences we couldn’t predict.

It may be hard to love oneself at first, but it is not impossible once you get started. And it is worth the time and effort to love yourself unconditionally.For me, unconditional self-love is not about becoming conceited and self-centered, thinking I am above others. Instead, it is about humbly learning to accept my bad days and good days, my habits and flaws—everything and every aspect of being a human being who makes mistakes and is not perfect.Love energizes us and inspires us to do kind things, while hate separates us and drains our energy, putting us in a low frequency.

So, what do you choose: love or hate? How do you practice self-love? How far are you on your self-love journey?

For me, I choose love. Self-love is ingrained in my bones. Practice makes perfect, and unconditional self-love is a lifelong journey. I have stopped making things hard for myself, and now, looking back, I am far away from who I once was.

Self-love is so important. No matter what age we are, it is essential to learn self-love and commit to it. It will make the world a more pleasant and safer place to be, for everyone. Don’t you think?